Have an open mind

Week 2...hm. Where do I start? Week 2 started on a good note. My students seemed to enjoy the help I was giving them but I didn't really see it. I like to think it was because of the end of the semester crash. If the students weren't stressing about their final grade then they weren't stressing about anything. Majority of the week was based on missing assignments, preparing them for the exams, and final revisions on research seminar papers. It was a very stressful week for my CT and the rest of the faculty. I found that the students were very sassy in both the classrooms and the hallways. I tried to remember one of Don Miguel's four agreements, "Don't take it personally". Trying and doing are two completely different things. Wednesday was the day for the British Literature exam. I found it extremely hard to pull back from helping the students. When I see a student in need I want to help. I tried to focus my attention on preparing my unit for the upcoming semester but also being aware of the surroundings in the classroom. I wanted to make sure eyes were designated to their own papers. There were a few times I needed to clarify a specific word for the students. During the exam my CT told me she would be out on Thursday. She said she would leave a lesson plan for me and it was up to me whether I wanted to follow it or try something new. I decided to try something new. Biggest mistake... Note to self: when an exam has happened, the students do not want to learn anymore. Whoever decided to have a semester end on a Wednesday was not made aware of this. I went into school on Thursday with my head held high and a bright smile. I wanted to really get the students thinking about who they are. Not even five minutes into the period and I wanted to lock myself in the bathroom. The students had completely shut down and refused to listen to the teacher candidate. I felt the failure coming up from my stomach. With one more period before my prep/lunch period I didn't know what to do with myself. When my prep period finally came I took a moment to sit in silence. I then realized how lonely that silence was. I tried doing some preparations for my unit that would begin on Monday but I couldn't see past the comments and remarks from the British Literature students. The next action I took was probably the best and worst. I grabbed my phone in search of wisdom: I sent my mom a text. Unfortunately, her response generated a flow of emotion causing me to shed some tears in the classroom. I quickly pulled myself together and walked to the mirror by the window. I dried my eyes and said out loud, "You is kind, you is smart, you is beautiful" (The Help). The remainder of my Thursday was less than positive, however, I left my defeat at that mirror. When I woke up Friday morning I reminded myself that I cannot take anything personal. Friday was a better day because the school was filled with parties and no exams. A few of the students really wanted to hear my thoughts on college and the real world. I gave them the best advice I possibly could. I hoped that they would take everything I had to say and learn from it. Week 2 really wasn't the best week. Maybe it was the stress of the exams or the end of the semester. Whatever the case may be I am extremely glad that the week is behind me. The beginning of my unit it where my concentration shall be. Getting to know my students is where my heart will be. Incorporating technology and modern ideas for my new students it where my head will be. Dwelling on the week 2 that sent me into a defeated world is NOT where I will be.