The final two weeks of student teaching...
I need to keep asking myself if this is real life? Am I really almost done with this crazy ride? It makes me really sad to think I am but it also makes me really happy because I will soon have my own class and my own set of students.
I consider the students I have now my students, however, they aren't mine. They have been my middle school students for the past 4 weeks but that is only 4 weeks. I truly cannot wait to have my set of students come September.
With that said, I never thought I would make it through to the students in the middle school. It has been a rocky roller coaster ride but I finally saw their love for me this week.
When I mentioned to all three of my classes that I would be joining them on their field trip to RISD on Thursday, May 2, 2013, I received a standing ovation because the students were so excited. I'm not sure what to expect when Thursday does come. My memories of field trips with teachers in school are not horrible, however, I never bothered with the teachers. I am very much okay with a nice day away from the school with the faculty and students but if I happen to get to know more about my students during that time I surely won'y be mad.
During my time at Nathan Bishop I have found that middle school might be my calling. As much as I love my high school students, I have found out that I am very much suited for the middle school atmosphere. I would enjoy maybe having a slightly older age group like 8th grade. I feel like maybe having 8th grade students I could be in my element but also preparing the students for high school. That was one thing I enjoyed about my seniors- helping them and preparing them for college.
I can't believe it has come and gone so fast but I am excited for student teaching to be over. I feel like I still have more to learn as a teacher but I feel as though I will only learn what I am lacking in the field. I have taken so much from both of my cooperating teachers; more so in the middle school because I didn't knwo what to expect.
I only have a few pages left before I move on to the next chapter in my life and I am just so thankful for my middle school experience because it has taught me that I am a great teacher with great ideas and I should be confident.
Monday, April 29, 2013
Sunday, April 7, 2013
What seems right doesn't feel right.
This week was kind of rough.
Monday - I attempted to teach. After first period I was on my way out the door. My immune system decided to fail me to the point where 1 questions from my student had me seeing black spots.
Tuesday - Another sick day. "Thankfully" the students were grade testing so I wouldn't have been able to teach anyway. Although I say thankfully, I think grade testing should just go away. When my CT told me her son (6 years old) had to take his first grade test this year in first grade my heart melted. I felt so bad for him because he is only in first grade! The thought of having first graders filling out bubble sheets frightens me.
Wednesday - ANOTHER GRADE TESTING DAY! SO, not only are the students grade testing but they are doing it for two days!
Thursday - Finally my time to get back to basics...I was terribly wrong. My students had completely shut down by Thursday. The first thing I did was a check in on their behavior with the substitute. I had received a very unhappy not when I returned, which made me a very unhappy camper. For the past few weeks I've been trying to teach my students what respect is. This has been my biggest challenge thus far. They are at the age where they think they know it all. Although they think they know everything, they have little knowledge about what it means to be respectful. I definitely know it is because of their age. I just find myself feeling defeated every time a class leaves my room. My CT has told me time and time again that I am doing a good job but I don't feel like I'm doing a good job.
Friday - Friday finally came and it took everything in me not to run out of the school in tears. One of my students (who doesn't like to participate, hands in no homework, class clown) said, "Ms. Burns you're turning into a mean teacher." I had to pause before I responded to the student. I first wanted to say you haven't seen mean. I knew that would be a move that would never come from someone like me. I simply responded with, "Until I see that you folks can have fun in a mature way then I guess it will seem like I am the 'mean teacher' because I don't see what I know I have asking of you and teaching you."
I don't want to be known as the mean teacher. I am the fun teacher who likes to perform carousel activities and use active learning. Every time I try to incorporate a piece of active learning their are students who ruin it. I'm finding it hard trying to deal with this natural disaster. I use the term natural disaster because it is bound to happen (there is no stopping this) in the classroom and as a teacher who plans how they want their day to go it is a disaster when things don't goes as planned.
I've tried to make it fun by including classroom points for all three of my 6th grade classes. The class to reach 20 points by Wednesday will receive a party on Thursday of this week. Some are all for the points. Others have the "it doesn't matter we're going to lose" attitude. I have given them the points and all they have to do is show me they want to keep the points for the day. 5 points are given with 3 X's. The 5 points are given to them based on being: Respectful, Reliable, Collaboration, Giving 110%, and Taking Ownership. Each time I see that we are lacking in one of the areas I take an X away. If they have all 3 X's they get a full point. If they have 2 X's they receive a 1/2 point. If they have 1 X they receive no points. The first day this worked really well. Now I'm wondering if this was the right approach to take.
I guess I feel I'm lacking in the confidence factor of classroom management. Although my CT is telling my what I'm doing is right, it doesn't FEEL right to me.
Monday - I attempted to teach. After first period I was on my way out the door. My immune system decided to fail me to the point where 1 questions from my student had me seeing black spots.
Tuesday - Another sick day. "Thankfully" the students were grade testing so I wouldn't have been able to teach anyway. Although I say thankfully, I think grade testing should just go away. When my CT told me her son (6 years old) had to take his first grade test this year in first grade my heart melted. I felt so bad for him because he is only in first grade! The thought of having first graders filling out bubble sheets frightens me.
Wednesday - ANOTHER GRADE TESTING DAY! SO, not only are the students grade testing but they are doing it for two days!
Thursday - Finally my time to get back to basics...I was terribly wrong. My students had completely shut down by Thursday. The first thing I did was a check in on their behavior with the substitute. I had received a very unhappy not when I returned, which made me a very unhappy camper. For the past few weeks I've been trying to teach my students what respect is. This has been my biggest challenge thus far. They are at the age where they think they know it all. Although they think they know everything, they have little knowledge about what it means to be respectful. I definitely know it is because of their age. I just find myself feeling defeated every time a class leaves my room. My CT has told me time and time again that I am doing a good job but I don't feel like I'm doing a good job.
Friday - Friday finally came and it took everything in me not to run out of the school in tears. One of my students (who doesn't like to participate, hands in no homework, class clown) said, "Ms. Burns you're turning into a mean teacher." I had to pause before I responded to the student. I first wanted to say you haven't seen mean. I knew that would be a move that would never come from someone like me. I simply responded with, "Until I see that you folks can have fun in a mature way then I guess it will seem like I am the 'mean teacher' because I don't see what I know I have asking of you and teaching you."
I don't want to be known as the mean teacher. I am the fun teacher who likes to perform carousel activities and use active learning. Every time I try to incorporate a piece of active learning their are students who ruin it. I'm finding it hard trying to deal with this natural disaster. I use the term natural disaster because it is bound to happen (there is no stopping this) in the classroom and as a teacher who plans how they want their day to go it is a disaster when things don't goes as planned.
I've tried to make it fun by including classroom points for all three of my 6th grade classes. The class to reach 20 points by Wednesday will receive a party on Thursday of this week. Some are all for the points. Others have the "it doesn't matter we're going to lose" attitude. I have given them the points and all they have to do is show me they want to keep the points for the day. 5 points are given with 3 X's. The 5 points are given to them based on being: Respectful, Reliable, Collaboration, Giving 110%, and Taking Ownership. Each time I see that we are lacking in one of the areas I take an X away. If they have all 3 X's they get a full point. If they have 2 X's they receive a 1/2 point. If they have 1 X they receive no points. The first day this worked really well. Now I'm wondering if this was the right approach to take.
I guess I feel I'm lacking in the confidence factor of classroom management. Although my CT is telling my what I'm doing is right, it doesn't FEEL right to me.
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